BE KINDER TO YOURSELF, HERE’S HOW - STARTING NOW!

By now, you have either thrown out all of your New Year resolutions or you’re doubling down and it’s pedal to the metal! 

However, considering only 8% of people around the world manage to keep their new goals, you maybe one of the many that haven’t. With that knowledge, you may also be one of the many that beats themselves up or listens to that nasty little internal critic that tells you that you’re not enough. Not doing enough. Not successful enough. Not a good enough mum... Sooooo many not good enough’s. That little voice can be the meanest - the worst part, it’s your voice.  

It’s no wonder then that we then feel anxious, on-edge, demotivated or even guilt! Many of my clients talk about this. Living with the inner voice and the guilt that paralyses them and what they can do to work through this.  

I’ve gone through this myself and that voice lives within me too, I’ve just learnt to dial it down to the point where I don’t even hear it any more and I’ve learn’t to activate myself into becoming my own cheerleader. So I can assure you that with time and work, you can do this.  

Here are 6 simple ways that you can start to become kinder to yourself:  

1: Can’t love yourself? Then start to like yourself!

This sounds super vague doesn’t it - or perhaps obvious but HOW? Start by removing the words and thoughts that come up about “ONE DAY” One day, when I’m ___________ then I’ll love who I am. One day may never come, then you’ve spent all that time waiting. What a waste!  

Why not grab pen and paper and write down a list of 10 things that you like about yourself.  

  1. I like that people feel comfortable talking to me about anything.
  2. I like how I make my daughter shriek with laughter

There, now you give it a go. Keep going until you have at least 10 - go more if you’re on a roll! I want you to keep this going and every evening as you settle in, add 3 more things.  

2. Practice self-care 

Self-care is talked about a lot and can often come across as self-indulgent. It is not. Looking after yourself and knowing what your mind, body and soul needs to thrive is not self-indulgent. It’s basic wellbeing.  

Self-care can be as simple as standing in a warm shower for a couple of extra minutes, breathing in the steam, smiling and losing yourself in the feeling of the warm water. It can be painting your nails. Sitting down for a proper meal (please try to incorporate this one!) or finishing your day with a book you love. Take time to really notice what it is that you need and boosts up those tanks! 

3: Talk to yourself! 

This sounds odd, but stay with me. Talking outloud to yourself can be a huge thing and you become your own cheerleader in doing so! Think that it’s naff? Well, many great, successful people do this when the need to push themselves forward. Serena William’s does this - instead of yelling “YOU CAN DO THIS” Serena yells “C’mon Serena, YOU can do this”. She uses her name! 

You don’t need to do this publicly. You can use affirmations along with it, using your name as you do so. Be kind and be your own friend. Gabby Bernstein is a pro when it comes to affirmations and I absolutely love her. Swot up on what you can say to yourself, the key is to be strong, kind, loud and use your name.

4: Be mindful

Mindfulness is one of the heavy-weights of the wellness world. It’s also one of the best ways to start reprogramming your brain into positivity. I’ve often written about guided mindfulness tools - Calm and Headspace are two of my favs but you can write your own rules here. 

I often use a long walk, going somewhere that I can move on auto pilot to zone out and start to open my mind. I walk before work as often as I can or try to end the day with one. It’s my mindful time and self-care practice in the same exercise. 

5:  Learn boundaries 

This one is pretty big. We often say yes to things we don’t want to. Let people in more than we would like and then are left with so little time for ourselves. Work out the time that you need for you, then book it. Make it sacred. Yes, sometimes you need to change things around, but as often as you can, say no when you don’t want to do something or be somewhere and make sure you’ve allocated the time that you need for yourself. 

6: Love the skin you’re in

Ok. I’ve left this until last, but my friend, this is an eye opener. We can so often spend so much hating the way we look, focusing on certain areas with laser focus hatred that we miss the things that make us incredible.  

I want you to stand in your underwear and look in the mirror. When you do it, smile at yourself. Take a moment to really appreciate your body. It is one of the single most important things you have. Think of all the things that your body allows you to do and thank it. This may sound a bit flighty but I’m dead serious. To make change, you need to change. 

If you’re a mamma - don’t wish for your body to go back to how it was. It won’t, it has changed forever. It created life. Love that your body did this! Each scar, mole, blemish and stretch mark has been created by you living life. Take care of this body. Hydrate it, nourish it, luxuriate and dress it. Take the time to cloth yourself in things that make you feel amazing. How does it feel when you do this? 

Do you notice when you are unkind to yourself? Do you know your triggers? If you feel that the scales get unbalanced then practice all or any of the above.  

I would love to hear what you do to be kind to yourself.... x